The Proverbs 31 Woman
Is she a Stepford wife? or a mother-in-law's wacky dream?
Proverbs 31:10-31
A good wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
She is like the ships of the merchant,
she brings her food from afar.
She rises while it is yet night
and provides food for her household and tasks for her maidens.
She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard.
She girds her loins with strength
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
She opens her hand to the poor,
and reaches out her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
She makes herself coverings;
her clothing is fine linen and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates,
when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them;
she delivers girdles to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.
(From the Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition)
Context: Feminist scholars rightly point out that women in ancient Israel had limited economic options. They were seen as the property of their fathers until marriage, and then as the property of their husbands, until they were either widowed or died themselves. Marriage was considered mostly in economic terms. (Current day Arabs still offer the father of the bride remuneration for taking his worker bee daughter away from him.)
Translation Notes: The entire section is an alphabetized acrostic in the original Hebrew. (In English, it would be A-she’s adorable, B-she’s so beautiful, C-she is cheerful when she cleans, etc.) Psalm 119 and Lamentations 1 - 4 are similar examples. It is attributed to the mother of King Lemuel of Massa, a tribe of Northern Arabians.
Vocabulary
Distaff and spindle: items used for spinning flax or wool into thread. (Stretching the thread as it was spun is a nice segue into the next line about reaching out to the needy.)
Fine linen and purple/household clothed in scarlet: Dyed wool was extremely expensive in ancient times. Only very wealthy families could afford it.
‘Girdles’ for the merchant: Not spandex (!!) but a sash used to hold the tunic out of the way for work. Further, the exact rendering shows our mom to be an international trader, not merely local.
King Lemuel's mother warned him about women like me. I've been known to eat the bread of idleness, drinking a glass of red wine and reading a book. I remind myself that all scripture has meaning for people of faith, even if the Proverbs 31 woman seems to me like a Stepford wife!
Allow me to point out that "Mrs. Lemuel" is wealthy. Are women who clean floors on their hands and knees also worth more than jewels? Is it a higher calling to direct the slaves to do the dirty work? Then again, I have electronic slaves to do my bidding, although I still have to train my kids to operate the machinery. Will they rise up and call me blessed anyway?
Let's take from this scripture what is useful for the modern bourgeosie. Since career options have widened beyond weaving and spinning, women can contribute to the overall household bottom line in many creative ways, both in and out of the home. Being a wise and thrifty hausfrau means that midnight oil is going to burn, one way or the other. The measure you give will be the measure you get, eternally speaking. Being richly blessed will not just mean economic security for your husband, but a richness of character and companionship that will please God...and maybe even a mother-in-law.
Discussion Questions:
1. If you are married, which verses of this poem do you think are most relevant to you? To your husband?
2. If you are not married, think of the women you most admire. Choose a word that describes your ideals, and write your own acrostic poem.
3. Women today have more economic freedom. However, divorce is rampant, as is cohabitation and broken family units. How do we find a middle ground between women as property and women as independent matriarchs?
4. Is there an inherent danger in identifying only one type of womanly ideal?